I know I've said this before, but I really am going to try to write more often. I recently finished a 6-week creative non-fiction writing course at The Loft, and it served as a great (and necessary) reminder that I really do have a wealth of stories to share...but that will only happen if I actually sit down and write!
Ok - so where did I leave off? I believe I was talking about finding the birth mom, and I also believe I insisted on using all the initials instead of the actual names. Don't worry - I'm not going to provide you with last names or social security numbers, but I think I feel comfortable enough to tell you that her name is Ruthie.
We talk on the phone about once a month. I put 'about' in italics because, well, sometimes we play a mean game of Phone Tag. A two-hour time difference can be prohibitive. And then when you add in the fact that I go to bed at 7pm her time (that's 9pm my time - math is hard), it makes things even more challenging.
But Ruthie isn't the reason I pulled out my computer. Let me try to explain....
When I started down this DNA road, I really only had one wish - one desire - one hope. I really just wanted to know who my birth parents were.
That's it.
And truthfully, I wasn't convinced it would work. But it did.
When I met Ruthie, she confirmed that I had been her only pregnancy. I was her only kid. And most of her family had no idea I existed.
She also confirmed the name of my birth father - Larry - a name I had already discovered by researching a DNA-matched 2nd cousin. And after some more research, I knew that my birth father had been married before, and I knew he had 3 kids from that marriage...and I knew he died in 1980. So while my head absolutely understood that I had some half-siblings out there, my heart didn't really feel the need to know or do more.
That all changed on Wednesday, April 11th - one day after my birthday.
That's the day Jenn's 23andMe DNA results came back, and we were matched as half-sisters - we shared the whole damn X chromosome. Same father. And she wasn't one of the Original Three.
We have since made contact with the Original Three - Lorri, Carol, and Larry. On one hand, this news shocked them....but on the other hand, they acknowledged that they hadn't really known their dad very well at all, and I think this we-might-have-more-siblings-out-there thing was always in the back of their minds as a real possibility. Right now, we're just trying to get to know them through email.
But my connection with Jenn is different - it's natural. It's like I've known her forever. Sure, there have been lots of getting-to-know-you emails with her, too - but those feel more like confirmation-of-what-I-already-know emails. It's really difficult to explain, but it does remind me of my relationship with Amy - who has been in my life for less than 10 years , but yet is someone my heart has known and loved forever.
I will never regret the decision to have my DNA tested, and I'll never regret having it tested with 2 different companies. One test delivered a mother (and cousins!), and the other test delivered a sister.
I have more wealth than I ever dreamed possible...and it just keeps getting better.
